Musings of a tired mummy…zzz…

My very own website!!! Yikes!

Slummy mummies and #solidaritea

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Am I one of the slummy mummy brigade? Do I suffer from a ‘kind of dimwit narcissism’?
The same day that this Daily Mail article was met with justifiable outrage by mums, bloggers and any right thinking people (biased, moi?!), I published my video post about a day in my life.

It wasn’t an intentional show of #solidaritea (as it has become known) and that particular day my family had frozen battered fish fillets rather than fish fingers 🙂
In my opinion, and feel free to disagree, women today are told to expect to have it all and be thankful. Any mum that stays at home is made to feel that feminism was wasted on her for rejecting a career. Any mum who works is made to feel neglectful and unnatural.
I have the best of both worlds as I work but most of it is at home so I can be there for my children the majority of the time. I am also incredibly lucky that I live so close to my parents and my mum is able to have Zach during the day if I have an exam to invigilate or a meeting to attend but I try to avoid this as much as possible.

I love preparing meals for my family and do lots of batch cooking so they benefit from home cooking. I made attempts to make homemade battered chicken strips and fish bites but these were rejected. I simply don’t have time to make meals from scratch every day. Why criticise mums for feeding their children?! Fish fingers are perfectly acceptable and it’s not every day or the kids would complain! But the article did criticise 🙁
As a blogger, I have read many other blogs from other mums and dads. The unifying feature is the reality of parenthood in all its guises. Yet the Daily Mail focused on mums and didn’t mention a single male blogger being honest about their experiences.
I am painfully aware of how lucky I am to have my three children but that doesn’t mean that every second is blissful. I feel guilty for wanting 2 minutes to go to the toilet by myself. I hate myself for not always being enthusiastic. I try my best to react in the correct way but sometimes I don’t have the emotional or physical toughness to take any more.
This was me earlier today:
I went to relax in the garden, watching the kids play nicely. It lasted about 2 minutes. Then they started encroaching on my personal space. My glasses were wrenched off then Zach screamed A LOT when I retrieved them. All 3 of them were sat on me at one stage. Suddenly my hairy legs became a focus and first the tweezers and then the epilator were fetched…

Slight panic when Zach almost epilated his head, whoops!
I think the main point to take from the article is that mums have a difficult role to fulfil in today’s society. Get it wrong and we will be damaging the next generation. But this isn’t a new phenomenon.
I think honesty is the best way forward and sets realistic expectations. I had no idea what real parenthood was like. I had a rose tinted view in my head and was surprised by the reality. After being driven mad one day, I discussed it with my mum, how I could never compare to her, never make it seem so easy. She told me that she had thrown furniture when I’d driven her crazy. I had no idea and I felt better. I wasn’t abnormal or unmotherly for finding it hard.

Please take the Daily Mail article with a pinch of salt. Yes, these mummy bloggers find the hilarious in the mundane and they won’t mention the dull minutiae that probably makes up the majority of their day. They are writers, using their experiences as the basis for their work. That is not to imply that it is false, just that it is not the complete picture, simply an edited version of events. That is what we all do whether we are bloggers or not, I tell my friends the highlights of the day, the funny, the emotional, leaving out any boring bits (well, actually, my day in the life video has the boring bits in too!).
Dimwit narcissist over and out.

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37 comments

  1. Here here! Great article and lots of points that really resonate with me too. Thank you. I fear that despite all the negativity about the article and journalist, that the daily mail are relying on the old addage, ” there’s no such thing as bad press”. Their website will have got a lot of traffic! I haven’t read their article for this reason, but have read dozens of bloggers responses so can make an intelligent guess at all of its contents! I think my fave is how Birds Eye reacted – marketing genius on their part! Kate http://www.fivelittlestars.com

  2. Absolutely, we all do the best we can! And sometimes a little humour is what gets us through the day – I enjoy reading those blogs for exactly that reason.

  3. Jon

    Having read the DM article I think they are just taking a lot of things (the humour) out of content but i assume that would have been done deliberately to make the article!

  4. I never read the original article but I think every person is entitled to do whatever fits best with their family and what makes them happy, be it working away, working at home, not working etc x

  5. I work from home too. I agree that it’s too time consuming to make every meal from scratch especially if they won’t eat it. I think people should stop judging others so much especially when they are not full aware of circumstances etc.

  6. What springs to mind is, you damned if you do, your damned if you dont! I am a working single mum, yes i feel awful, especially today as I am working 5 days solidly on the trott and wont see my little pudding, but be it at home or a working mum, as long as are children are happy and healthy and live in a clean home, who cares if they get fish fingers! Beside I am quite partial to a fish finger sarnie!

  7. The daily mail has to be taken for what they are, far fetched, dramatic journalism (and sometimes the spelling & grammar in their articles will make you question if there are really journalists sitting behind that keyboard). And I give my family fish fingers for dinner regularly but I think I put in a bloody good effort to give them balanced meals. Just my two pence… x

  8. Jen

    The Daily Wail want the reaction they get, it is all on purpose. I read it and laughed. Never believe stuff you read in that, or other such similar places. I love reading all the different lifestyles, woes, joys and adventures of lots of different blogs. I think it is a fabulous way to talk, share and be involved. Keep up the good work.

  9. Jasmin N

    You all look such a lovely family! I haven’t heard about the DailyMail article, as I don’t follow British “newspapers”, but sounds like a good laugh to be honest.

  10. I love that the kids did your beauty treatments for you – a future family business?
    You make so many great points, and it all boils down to parenthood being hard and that being all the more reason to support each other and be honest, rather than criticise and make others feel inadequate.
    #ThatFridayLinky

  11. Emma

    That article was ridiculous in my opinion. The woman sounded totally jealous and bitter. As writers we tend to focus on certain aspects whether that’s for humour, as a coping mechanism or just because we want to. I guess the daily mail got what they wanted though – loads of coverage! x

  12. The Daily Fail are just there to get a rise out of people. it seems their main objective to wind their readers up about something or other! We know the reality of parenting, the good, bad and ugly (poor you having your legs plucked by your kids lol!). Anyway, my son asked for fish finger and bacon sandwiches with tomato sauce for tea – AND I GAVE HIM THEM!! yours, fellow dimwit narcissist 😉

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  14. I never take newspapers seriously they are trash reporting good read and well said Thanks for linking to the #THAT FRIDAY LINKY come back next week please

  15. I haven’t read (or even heard of!) the Daily Mail article in question and I have no intentions of clicking over to read it either. Parents come in all sorts of different styles, and all of them are correct. No one has the right to say any different.

  16. Quite clever really, to create a story out of nothing that we are all still talking about a week later!! It was absolute rubbish, but then I think the Daily Fail know that, and kind of cash in on that. Great post! #RV&HT

  17. Fish fillets!! Wow you’re posh lol! Love this piece, I wrote a blog about the article too and it being very bitchy! Us mum’s should stick together regardless of if we are yummy or slummy!
    #anythinggoes

  18. I just popped over to read the article and all it came across as to me was someone using someone else’s popularity to get their article seen. The writer knew it would get people’s backs up to call the bloggers out by name, and they knew that the article stood a fair chance of getting a load of views from people coming to their defence.
    Thanks for linking up to #AnythingGoes 🙂
    Debbie

  19. Firstly, your kids are gorgeous! I don’t think I’ve seen a post with a photo of them all together! Secondly, I completely agree. Myriads have fish fingers, they even have frozen fishcakes (cooked),they also have watermelon, grapes, strawberries, peas, carrots, and all sorts of other food that has a reputation for being generally good for them! A shortcut to how fast dinner is made isn’t going to affect your kids in the longterm. As long as they’re fed, washed and loved they pretty much need nothing else x

    #rvht

  20. I’m a child magnet over here too. Just doesn’t seem to like seeing me enjoy my own personal space and has to encroach on it at all times. I wouldn’t change it as I know it won’t be forever.

    I never joined in the solidaritea but that daily mail article was a complete attack on women and mothers. We should all support one another. That’s so not the way.

    Thanks for linking up.
    #KCACOLS

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  22. Very well said! I think the act onmums from the daily mail was a low blow and they should be extremely ashamed! Your telling me they’ve never fed their kids a chicken nugget or offered a tin of beans! Ridiculous!

    #KCACOLS

  23. It clearly must have been a slow news day over at The Mail that day. At the end of the day, we are all doing our very best to raise our children. I hate the amount of judgment from others. We feel guilty enough without others making it worse. #KCACOLS

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