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Friday 18th November: I want my mum!

Well it has been a pretty rubbish week. We have all been ill with plague (or perhaps just a bad cold 😉 ).

I felt particularly awful on Wednesday night which just happened to be the one day of work outside the house all month! The meeting overran by an hour and quite frankly I just wanted to cry. When I finally got away, I sat in the car and considered driving to my mum’s house for a hug. Not that either or us are very ‘huggy’ people and I would probably have just made us both feel uncomfortable.

I reminded myself that I was a grown up and headed home. But the next morning Matt and Anya were at school/preschool so I took Zach to Mum for an hour and she sent me to bed. I lay there reading my paperback which may seem uneventful but to me in was incredible. I haven’t read a paperback in 8 months. Whilst waiting for Zach to make his appearance (plus the two weeks he was overdue 🙁 ) I read books on my kindle/phone so that I could read during all of the sleepless nights due to indigestion and then the hideous never-ending feeding of the first weeks. And it went on for months because I wanted to stay awake during feeds as I was terrified of falling asleep and squashing him. But now the feeds are so short, I thought I’d take a chance and read an old fashioned book. And it’s wonderful 🙂

I also need to confess that my willpower was overcome by the gnawing hunger I have felt for the last few days. I ate TWO packets of crisps yesterday. Which is strictly against the rules (MY rules). I got around it because I ‘shared’ them with Zach (he had two crumbs and then played with the empty packet). I have this rule because I love crisps and could happily sit and eat packet after packet if I didn’t mind the expense and the weight gain. People are always surprised that I have a ravenous appetite because I normally weigh 7 stone so I look like I pick at lettuce. Chris said he was impressed on our first dates because I always asked for chips, apparently a faux pas for most women. While pregnant I frequently broke the rule and had two packets of crisps a day (but no more even when really tempted) and again Zach was the excuse (he definitely needed the extra calorific energy 🙂 ). Sometimes Chris and I open a big ‘sharing’ packet of crisps in the evening and we ration ourselves because we both know the whole packet would disappear if the other didn’t take control. I also have a rule about drinks which Chris thinks is bonkers: only one special drink a day, whether its a can of fizzy drink, a juice or a glass of alcohol. So if I feel like I need a caffeine hit at lunchtime then I’m not allowed to relax with a glass of wine in the evening.

I think I get this from my mum because I was brought up to think these things are treats and I hope my kids have a sensible attitude to food and drink for their own health’s sake.


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