loopyloulaura

My very own website!!! Yikes!

Learning to let go: secondary school

How can my baby be in Year 7???

Lots of changes for him but also some major adjustments for me as I allow Matthew greater independence. Over the last year this has been happening naturally as we prepared for him moving up to secondary school.
Walking alone
Honestly, waving goodbye to him each morning has been heartbreaking! Then there is the worry about him getting lost or hit by a car. I am a pessimist but don’t want my anxieties to negatively impact Matthew.  I did make a point of walking with him one day in his final week of junior school just to remind him how proud I am.

Mobile phone
A tricky choice. A first phone needs to be easy enough to use and have all the functionality required but also be ‘cool’ enough to avoid ridicule without attracting jealousy which could lead to theft and bullying. It’s a minefield!
Choices
Being confident in your own opinion, having the freedom to choose. But allowing children to make choices also means accepting when they get it wrong and helping them to structure their decisions. Accept that their choices might not be the same as yours!
Cooking
Matthew isn’t doing food technology this term but when he does I want him to know the basics. How to light a stove, boil pasta, peel a potato, chop an onion. In just seven years he could be heading to university and have to fend for himself and I feel that it is my responsibility to teach him self sufficiency.

Clothes
Linked to choices but I have to nag to get things in the linen bin! I always check with Matthew now before buying or ordering clothes as I want him to express his identity through what he wears.
Learning to let go is ever so hard. It is a huge change for both of us as he truly begins on the path to adulthood. He needs to let go of seeking my opinion. I have to trust him more and more, withdraw my own influence more and more, hoping that I have done enough…


1 comment

  1. It is so hard them growing up. We want them to have independence but it is such a big deal.
    It doesn’t get any easier. My eldest is 19 and I still worry about her when she goes to college or work. x

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