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Wedding Wednesday: should children attend weddings?

Recently I wrote a post about whether children should be allowed to attend funerals.
I have never been to a child free wedding and never even considered it as an option for our own wedding this summer.
Yet I know that some weddings specify ‘no children’ on the invite. I think I would panic if I ever received one of these!
But of course I’m unlikely to get one as most of my friends are married with their own children already and I think it is most likely that younger people without young families would be the most likely to ask for adult only weddings.

So why are children sometimes excluded from weddings?
One reason could be cost. Weddings are expensive and having the numbers increased by guests’ children could significantly hike up the costs.
Children are easily bored and you may have concerns about your big day being interrupted or spoiled.

Some weddings are an opportunity to ‘let your hair down’ and let the alcohol flow. It might not be suitable for children to be present…
Why should children be included in weddings?
I would be worried about inconveniencing friends by forcing them to choose between attending or not based on their childcare options. I certainly wouldn’t want to stay at home with the kids and let Chris go alone or vice versa.
Children need to learn about social conventions and enjoy the celebration of life events. They need to learn how to behave appropriately to help with their future experiences.
Our children are playing a central role in our wedding because they are an integral part of our life and we want them there to see our happiness.
Children are often noisy and annoying but they are also sweet and entertaining. They will certainly make the day more interesting!

I suppose that it is up to the individual couple and the type of day they want and the type of guests they expect to invite. It can be a tough choice so good luck if you are facing it!


  1. We had children at our wedding, but it’s a hard one to call. It usually comes down to how many people you’ve got to invite in relation to the space and budget you have. I can see why some couples opt not to invite children if it means not being able to invite other friends / extended family.

    When we’ve got invites like that, we’ve shrugged our shoulders as it’s their day and it’s not fair to complain about it. If we can get a sitter, we go. If we can’t, then we don’t.

  2. I genuinely believe it’s the bride and groom’s choice. But if they opt for no children they have to be prepared to accept the declined invitations with grace. I say this having been sent a child free invitation to my aunt’s wedding and getting nothing but grief that my husband won’t come as he’ll be looking after said child. So much hassle I’m actually ready to say I won’t go either. #stayclassymama

  3. I have no issue either way – I totally get why people don’t want them there, and I’m ok with that. I also get why people kindly and expensively invite them. When you think a family takes 5 places, that means 3 friends that don’t get to come so some 6 year old who doesn’t really know you or care that you are getting married can not eat the $30 a plate food…or the wedding couple spends $100 to feed the children so that the parents of said children don’t have to pay $100 to a sitter?? We had them at ours, we had them in the wedding party. Can’t say I’ve cared when ours weren’t invited. #Stayclassymama

  4. I don’t have an issue with kids attending a wedding, however with my wedding – only my sister’s children were at the wedding as that was immediate family – that was our rule. But they were not part of the wedding party. Then when my husband’s brother got married in Australia we flew over and my two girls were the only children at the wedding #stayclassymama

  5. Pat

    I have been to child free weddings but if I’m honest I prefer weddings with children. For me the wedding day is all about sharing a special moment with your family and friends and if children are part of your family or your friend’s family then I think they should be aloud to be part of the day.

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