loopyloulaura

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Yes, I will parent your child if you don’t!

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On Sunday, I went along to a soft play birthday party for my niece. Not my idea of fun at the best of times but with Zach’s broken wrist, my enjoyment levels were at a minimum. I was closely supervising him whilst the others ran amok.

I spoke to some of the bigger boys, my son and nephew included, as they were racing through the little children’s area, reminding them to be careful and stay in the designated areas for people their size. There were some really tiny children there and they could easily have been knocked over or injured.
At one point a little boy snatched a cushion from Anya then climbed up the steps and barged Zach out of the way with it. Seeing no parent around, I spoke to him firmly but softly to say his behaviour was not kind. He promptly burst into tears and ran for his mum wherever the heck she might have been.

I didn’t mean to upset him but don’t regret speaking to him. Truthfully, I would expect another parent to step in and help my children make the right choices if they were behaving in a way they shouldn’t.
On school trips I have noticed that parents fail to monitor their children properly and I have stepped in to speak to them earning myself a dirty look from their ‘supervising’ parent.
The same is true for the school run. Children on bikes haring down pavements, heedless of pushchairs, small children, pregnant women and the elderly or disabled. I have told children and teenagers off for swearing and dropping litter.

Unfortunately, I hideously embarrass my own children when I do this but I want them to learn to speak up for what is right. I set clear boundaries for my children that I don’t think are unreasonable so if I spot others behaving in an anti social way then I will call them up on it.
I would be horrified if my child dropped litter deliberately and would want a member of the public to challenge them.
Of course, it isn’t always negative behaviour that I will address. If someone behaves beautifully I would also comment on that. Injuries and sadness, offering comfort and reassurance. At the soft play party, a girl fell off the steps and was screaming in pain and panic so I instantly went over and checked she was ok (it was a really scary tumble!) then guided her back to her mum. Again, I would expect others to help my children in the same way.
The saying goes ‘The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men should do nothing.’ I wouldn’t say I’m ‘good’ but I try my best and I will speak out because I feel passionate about producing the next generation with love and respect for humanity and the planet. (Read here about what I think is important to instil in our children)
Children learn by example. They push boundaries and need to learn from mistakes but they do NEED to know when they are making those mistakes otherwise they will continue to make them.
Seeing some of the teenagers in the exams I invigilate, it is obvious that no one ever tells them no. They come into school with incorrect uniform, no equipment and a smug attitude. They are in for a shock in the real world…
My children aren’t perfect. My parenting certainly isn’t either. But I am trying and that it what counts. Are you?

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6 comments

  1. This is always a difficult one, I remember being at a toddler group where one mother who’s child was a nightmare would always make out that she hadn’t seen him hit another child.
    One afternoon he pushed one of my minded children, before I had a chance to do or say anything another of my children pushed him back, funny thing is she noticed that, but her son was an angel afterwards #stayclassymama@_karendennis

  2. I love that particular saying about the triumph of evil when people do nothing. On the actual issue you raise in this post, I am sure what I think really. Here’s for a world where all parents worked on instilling good values in their children. I am the most chaotic mum in so many ways but I am proud that my children are kind and caring and would not hurt anyone. I hate soft play as it goes! #StayClassyMama

  3. We definitely need more people like you around. If my child was doing something negative, I’d want someone to have a word with him. On the flipside, it’s always nice when someone praises your child for doing the right thing too. #StayClassyMama

  4. That soft play brings out the worst in kids. I once had to dive in a protect a toddler that was about to be crushed by bigger kids (the toddler shouldn’t have been there, no one was doing anything wrong). Where the hell were theb parents? Who knows? But no one came running over when I picked up the child and moved it to the under 7 pit….so they obviously weren’t watching at all! #Stayclassymama

  5. I always hope that if I am not there that another parent would advise my children on something right /wrong or help them. I think we live in a world where people are sadly standing by a bit too much #stayclassymama

  6. Soft play, eugh, many a reason I try to avoid it. It’s a tough one isn;tit but as a general rule I think it’s fine to have a little word with a child that’s misbehaving, I’d certainly want some to stop my child if he was not being nice. #stayclassymama

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