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The bittersweet taste of my future

This week is strange to say the least. I am feeling somewhat lost as my mum duties have been seriously reduced.
Matthew has disappeared off on a residential trip with the school. My little boy, suddenly grown up, not so little.

This is what the future holds.
There will be days when he is getting on with his life and I will have no contact, no idea at all what he is doing.
And it isn’t just my great big 8 year old.

Anya is occupying herself more and more, spending hours writing or playing. She is flourishing at infant school and I can’t believe that her first year is almost complete.
Zach, my baby, has suddenly settled into preschool and I leave him without a single tear being shed.
These beautiful pics were part of our engagement shoot. Snapshots of the family we are, the people we are. Offering no insight into the future, the tears and fears that will inevitably be part of their lives which I will be unable to soothe.
This is how it is supposed to be. Growing up is hard but so is letting go. Giving them wings and letting them fly away, hoping they remember to come back every now and then!
To quote my mum: ‘I will have failed as a mother if you never live your own life’. Children need to learn that mistakes are an essential element of life but success is the ability to learn and move on. Success as a parent is having resilient children who make the future their own, find their own path and have confidence in their choices.

I hope I have done a good enough job, given them the tools to face life with a smile.
I am sad that the babies they were are vanishing day by day but I am so incredibly proud of the amazing human beings they are and will be.
My nest is not empty but one day it will be. However, my heart will remain full and I will always be there for them whether they want me there or not!


  1. It is so hard to let them go but we have to….I hope Matthew has a fab time on his residential trip. Gorgeous photos!
    My girls are 10 & 15 years old and over the past year they have got so independent and I am having to let go more. I don’t like it one but but I’ll have to get used to it. x

  2. Letting go is so hard! Gorgeous pics to remember special times with. I know what you mean about that bittersweet feeling Laura! Thanks for linking up to #coolmumclub with this x

  3. My 18 month old has finally given me a few minutes to myself each day when she gets home from daycare and plays with something on her own. I can’t imagine her spending hours doing something! I am going to need some assistance to not be a clingy mom! I don’t want that baby to grow up yet, but i know she will and I’ll have to let it go at some point!

  4. ‘I will have failed as a mother if you never live your own life’. is so true. It should be handed out to all parents along with their Bounty (?) bags with all the freebies in them that you get when you leave hospital

  5. Bittersweet is right! My girls have been away all week (they are 7 and 9) and I know they are having fun at their grandparents, but it gets a little lonely sometimes, It’s so good for them to move forward – into growing social skills, making those decisions, and expanding their independence. They don’t stay little forever, but they are forever etched into your heart.

    You’re doing a great job Laura!

  6. These are such bittersweet times to think about aren’t they. N is so often out on the farm with his dad, he doesn’t want to come out with me. And he’s going the same direction our nephew number 3 is with the same love of the farm. But it’s lovely to see them growing up so easily

  7. So wonderful to read your post and this makes me realise that my kids are growing up fast too, they are getting more and more independent and as a mum I must also let them go their own path and make their own mistakes.

  8. My eldest daughter went on a school camp in April and the house was so quiet – it surely gave us a taste of what it would be like without our children in the house – we missed her so much #stayclassymama

  9. Pat

    I feel this exact same way at the moment although mine still need me quite a bit as my eldest is not as old as yours. I find it hard to let them go but we must x

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